Chain of Pain--Link One

I have got scares on my face
I have got blood on my dreams
I have got bruises on my feelings
Save me from fury
What did I do, where were you when I was being crushed by Life
Where were you! I've always dreamed you with me
And the story repeats, the story repeats, the story repeats itself

Now I'm in Hell
I don't know why I'm here
Why did I do ,I don't see you
You tricked me, You made me
You broke my trust, but I loved you so much
Where were you! I've always dreamed you with me
And the story repeats, the story repeats, the story repeats itself

Were you real or just a figment
I wish you were real
That blood was real
That pain was real
I don't believe you, whatever you say
Not in this life! Not in this life! Not in this life!
And the story repeats, the story repeats, the story repeats itself

Wish I never met you! I've had enough
Now I got some time to sleep, to be at peace with my soul
I realize! thats not your foul
These are just stray line from a screwed mind
Not in this life! Not in this life! Not in this life!
And the story repeats, the story repeats, the story repeats itself

Stray Lines, Screwed Mind

I don't see anything in clouds
like my eyes are covered by shrouds
I take longest path
'cause i'm not sure of where to go
now my world is divided by time zones

These are just stray lines
coming from a screwed mind

I don't know whether it's the Sun
or strobe lights
driving me crazy
'cause i see people jumping
but every face appears to be strange to me
don't want to reach up to them

These are just stray lines
coming from a screwed mind

These thoughts are taking me back in time
When I was all alone
gotta to stop them, they can't push me, hush me
I close my eyes to see my future
The dream that always nurture

These are just stray lines
coming from a screwed mind

Moron with a Dream

"Moron With a Dream"

I'm a moron with a dream

Ready to scream, I don't belong to cream

Searching for the truth

Where is my research

nFET,pFET, MOSFET

'ucking stinger monsters

Stay away from me

I'm not your slave

Clear my pave

I'm a moron with a dream

Ready to scream, I don't belong to cream

So called  (II)ns(T)itute(S)

soul-less destitutes

Its my destiny, i can face your mutiny

I don't need your sling-shot, aware of your dirty plots

I've got my own shot, better than your lot

One day, that day

I'll show the world my way

I'm a moron with a dream

Ready to scream, I don't belong to cream

This won't be my last chance

'cause dreams never fade 

Try your Crusade

I'll drag you into my dream

And trust me

You will be in my stream 

because

I'm not a moron with just a dream

"What I want", "What I deserve" and "What I get"

Sometimes we concentrate too much on causes and consequences, without out any regard to the moment.... that's the way most of us have been living. I did.

The problem starts when you start to pin way too many things on future.  Future is mystic and our every grand plan materializes only in future !!!..This way we loose our present and  In the whole process, we search for answers in our past. I don't why we rely so much on future, that i'll do this and that....why I'm not doing those thing now?? This attitude is so infectious that once you got infected, you will be bogged down by it for a long time....I guess its safe to term it as "Loser Phenomena"( LP)....pathetic but very genetic!!

I brainstormed for many days to find the exact relation between "what I want", "what I deserve" and "what I get".  I guess the root cause of whole problem is due to misplaced importance given to above three factors.  

Factor 1:" What I want" always tends to infinity.

Factor 2: "What I deserve" is an exponential function which always tends to zero, when Factor 1 reaches its upper limit

Factor 3 : "What I get" well this factor is dependent on so many external factors that virtually it has no relation with above two factors.

 

Empirical Relation Between Different Factors  

Okay enough of maths, well I don't know whether this relation makes any sense....well i see some resonance when it comes to me...i had LP and it left me empty and shallow. LP results into loss of faculty of  judging people.....and you end up being loner. The cure for this "future fantasy" is  almost non-existent.

I guess realizing the very fact that I live more in future then present took almost four years and i learned through hard way...getting hit by a meteor shower....loss of hope, blackout and wounded....Trying hard to get over it.... :) :) :)